On our trip back from Florida, Mack and I took a little detour to visit one of his aunts. Mack and I both come from fairly large families so sometimes I wonder if we will ever meet all the members of each others families. I grew up thinking I came from a fairly large family (since I am the youngest of six children), however, Mack and his extended family blows mine out of the water. FOR THAT I AM IMPRESSED.
His aunt had, a few weeks before our arrival, gone to Walmart and found a whole shitload of bath kits. You know those ones with the multitude of bath products ranging from bath beads and shower caps to anything that could possible relate to a bath tub? Well, she found them on a really good sale, so proceeded to buy all of them. I am not kidding that she bought a lot— her whole closet was full of them.
In a very kind and thoughtful gesture, she offered one to Mack and me. I was very grateful, and kind of excited, to get home and take a bath and enjoy my bath salts provided by his aunt. I think it was kind of disconcerting that it was this huge pack of angel-themed bath products, but we went with it, and hauled it back to Arizona where it sat in over living room for a few months before I opened it. I finally broke down wondering if I, too, could smell like an angel? Plus, our friends kept eyeballing it and I feared they wanted the scent of the angel that was to be mine.
While Mack and I were kind of going through our living room stuff, I finally opened the package and let’s just say I had too much fun. There was so much packaging that, by the end of the unwrapping process, I think I had enough garbage to fill a landfill. Why did the bath kit, I wonder, know my hearts desire to own a candle in the shape of an angel? That it has been a childhood dream of mine? While sitting cross legged on the floor, I kept pulling out the various objects and shoving them into Mack’s face. asking him if, indeed, it smelled like an angel to him.
I ended up putting the bar of angel soap in the bathroom. At various points, I would come out of the bathroom,d walk up to Mack and ask “DO I SMELL LIKE HEAVEN!? IS THIS WHAT ANGELS SMELL LIKE!?” Needless to say I think he was glad when I eventually threw out that bar of soap.
Today I got my hair re-colored before the move (I requested being a red-head and somehow ended up an almost black… yeaaaah) and due to over-heating and generally feeling like crap, I decided to take a cold bath. Afraid for my hair color, I dug through our kit and pulled out the shower cap provided. Walking into the room, I hand it to Mack to open since I am all that is (physically) weak with the female race.
Mack: I do wonder how the angels make these shower caps.
Me: Why, they are made with angels heads.
Mack: How does that work?
Me: Uh, they cut off the angels heads and they have a shower cap?
Mack: I’m kind of glad I am not wearing it then.
Me: You’re just jealous you’re not wearing the hat the murder provided.
I think the whole point is that no amount of Heavenly Bath Kit is going to save me from the one-way trip to Hell I provided myself from the endless amusement the kit has provided me through the months.