Ingredients

• For the Cold
• 1 Sore Throat (slightly achy)
• 2 Watery Eyes (for best results have blood-shot eyes)
• 1 Runny Nose
• Unset Stomach
• 1 part Irritability (especially in regards towards others)
• Unlimited Headaches
• Voice that Sounds like the Exorcist

 
For Treating the Cold

• 2 Airborne (add more as needed)
• 8 Sudafed (take as needed)
• 10 Ricola (more as needed, judge by taste)
• 1 Benadryl 

Procedure:

1. First, let your throat start to feel the start of getting cold. Ignore the boyfriends suggestion of taking an Airborne and promise to do it in the morning.
2. Wake up with a full-on sore throat with a general feeling of crap. Take that Airborne your boyfriend tried to get you to take.
3. Let body work itself up to a 100F temperature while allowing it to get chilled.
4. Allow first headache to set in.
5. Make a last ditch attempt to Walgreens to try and fight it off before it comes on more.
6. Add one part sore throat, a pinch more headache, and 1 Runny Nose. Stir together until well beat. Have boss take one look at you, declare you look like shit, and tell you to go home.
7. Get home and proceed to get in PJ’s with all the bedroom fans on you. Proceed to get the chills.
8. Pop a few more Sudafed. Feel like you can breathe again. Take 3 more Ricola which allows throat to feel better.
9. Answer a few phone calls. Get told you sound like crap. Feel like crap.
10. Take a Benadryl to help sleep at night.
11. Wake up with a worse sore throat. Proceed through day with repeat of steps above from sick-bed.

 
Serve warm. Seemingly infects all that come in contact with.

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