Dear Old Men Who Feel the Need to Check Out My Butt -

Hey, it’s me, Anne. You must admit, in your old age that you can get away with a lot. I only hope that one day, I too will be as old as you are, have seen as much as you’ve seen, and done as much as you have done. Despite many of my peers’ feelings towards you, I typically adore older people. You have discipline, respect, horribly wonderful driving that drives us all crazy, and stories about the “good ol’ days”.

That said: why do you feel the need to check out my butt? 

I confess that I realize that I have a rather, what is the word? Bootylicious butt. It’s pretty round and out there but, overall, not that amazing of a butt. You would think, leering old men, that you’d do the typical check out of the boobs. Yes, I concede, sometimes I do wear baggy shirts on my off-days. That does, however, not give you the excuse to check out my butt. 

It is kind of demeaning, both to me as a person and my boobs (which you so pointedly ignore), that you so openly stare at said butt. I realize, of course, that sometimes you can be subtle about it. You, leering old man, will wait until I have passed before checking it out. Had you considered, perhaps, that my BOYFRIEND behind me would notice? And point it out?

LAUGHINGLY?

Now, leering old men who check out my butt, if you got creative about it then, perhaps, it’d be a little less demeaning. Why, take for example, the old man who tricked me, at the store, into talking about my food choices? Which, later, my boyfriend laughingly informed me in my distraction I failed to notice him checking out my boobs? 

Seriously, old men leering at my butt, you can do better. If you must be disgusting leerers, at least make it more subtle. 

If I notice, that says something.

Your “Bootylicious” Friend, 
Anne

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