How many different personas do you have? Do you have a work self, a private self, a relationship self, an online self, etc? Do they share some sort of thread of commonality or are you able to be the master of disguise, a chameleon, who can shape yourself according to the situation?

I have “personas” for the different situations of my life, however they all share in essence the same thread of my true self. Around my family, some friends, and of course Mack I am a loud, offbeat person who tells bad jokes and appreciates dark humor and all things good. I’m compassionate but can be crude and give them back the shit talk they will give me.

Around Mack’s friends or people I don’t really know I am terminally shy, soft spoken, and very reserved. Perhaps people think I am aloof and don’t like them? I open up and talk and become like my private persona the more I get to know you and what buttons set you off. I worry excessively about offending someone or somehow hurting them. It took me a long time in Phoenix to open up and show what a whacko I truly am around Mack’s friends who, in turn, became my friends as well.

With the online world, although I have the power of anonymity, I can be terminally shy. Rarely will I leave reviews on flickr, deviantart, or make comment on blogs since I worry about how I will be read and judged and fear misinterpretation. I worry that the trollers out there will just choose me as their next target to fling their hatred at and I’ll receive the brunt of it.

Don’t get me wrong though. I care what people think but I can shrug off criticism easily most of the time. It really depends on how close it hits to home. Call me an idiot and attack my work? Well, I am sorry, I know I am fairly intelligent and know my own mind and self so where is the basis of the judgement coming from? And attacking my creativity and work? Sorry to say, but I can improve with time and practices while you will always be a jerk. If you really make it personal and attack my family? That is pretty much a war declaration against me and you will not come out the victor.

I guess I can’t pretend to be a middle-aged man or high-powered CEO online. I can’t easily slip into the  anonymity of the internet and abuse the power which lies within it. I think my most rebellious “abuse” of the power was making an email account to check up on a friend who was going through a hard time and didn’t want to talk to me. Judge me if you will, but I think that is seriously the only abuse I have done online due to concern of a friend.

So: do you have many personas?

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