Dear Fairy Godmother -

Hey, what’s up? It’s Anne. You know, that godchild that you have been ignoring for my twenty-four years of life. Frankly I’m getting sick of your abandonment and lack of action in my life. I think I’m developing some sort of abandonment issues in regards to you and when my parents pay for the first of five promised therapists in life don’t think your name won’t come up. Don’t give me the excuse of the fact I already have two godmothers so “can’t possibly have room for more.” Yes, while my godmothers are amazing people they lack one thing which you can provide: magic.

Before you fly off in a rage of glitter and sparkles, or whatever magical elements you use when mad, I don’t mean to exploit you but seriously? A little help in life would be awesome.

For one, Cinderella’s fairy godmother “pimped her ride” and got her a gown for the ball and magic carriage to ride off and meet her prince. True, I don’t need to find a prince but a wardrobe and nice ride would be amazing. I do adore my car but the payments? Those frankly suck and I think you could leverage your power to my advantage. Also, have you seen my appearance lately? It’s not that I can’t dress up it is more to the fact I am lazy. Yes, lazy. When I roll out of bed in the morning I’m typically happy with myself if I manage not to run into walls or spill cereal on myself, so last thing on my mind is make up, beautiful ball gowns, and whatever girly girls do.

Perhaps, fairy godmother, you forsake me since I have a boyfriend and thus lose the rights to have your help. What about those years of singledom? Where were you then? Sure, I have Mack now but, you know, you could have sped up the process. I appreciate the good thing that I have but you’re a slacker and I’m sick of making excuses for you.

“Anne, you’re such a selfish girl!” you could argue and aren’t, ultimately, we all selfishly wanting a fairy godmother? Someone to swoop in and fix all our problems magically and have a happily ever after? I think I doubt your existence, fairy godmother, since there are no such things as magic and fairy dust or whatever historical writers wrote about you. If there was with a swoosh of a magic wand those student loans would vanish and last I checked, they’re still there.

Fairy godmother, I’m over you and waiting. I think us females are sick of sitting around waiting for you to take action. I will rally a cry of “Ladies! Let us not sit around waiting for a Prince Charming to find us and all our problems to be fixed! Let us take charge and do it OURSELVES!” and let the masses stand strong, independent women who don’t believe in magic and believe in the power of here, now, and empowerment.

Go off fairy godmother and do whatever you were doing. Just know I’m over waiting and unlike helpless Cinderella have taken charge of my own life and make my own destiny.

Sincerely,
Anne

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