10 Reasons Why NASA Would Never Hire Me

  • I have a hard time doing basic math sometimes.
  • I don’t do precise measurements. I eyeball everything instead.
  • The thought of going into space gives me nightmares.
  • I’d insist their shuttles and satellites “look pretty” instead of be functional.
  • I’ve never worked with Linux before. Plus, command line stuff scares me.
  • I can code, to a degree, but I’m not a technical person.
  • In high school it was a struggle to maintain a B in my science classes. Don’t ask me about my high school Geometry grade…
  • I’m too much of a smart ass. (“Shit, the rocket blew up.” “WHAT?” “PSYCHE!”).
  • I’d never make it past the physical endurance training and tests. I’m too much of a sloth.
  • I like stuff blowing up too much.

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