Typically I don’t write about work. However, this past Thursday, once again the state of the economy and job market found its way into my life. It shook me to the core, left me in tears, and with a feeling of uncertainty and fear for the future. Everyone is suffering at this time with the state of things, from major to minor things, so I thought I’d share my story of the economy and how it is affecting my life.

At the beginning of December of last year, my company laid off a bunch of employees. It was a small taste of the times and what a shitty economic time we’re going through. It was hard seeing people I had grown to know in my time there depart and a very stressful week overall. I was new to the company. Wouldn’t that mean, by default, that I’d be one of the first to go? I made it through the first cut shaken, scared, but still there.

In the subsequent months, I lasted through two more rounds of layoffs. Each time more of my dear coworkers tasted the bitter disappointment of the times and many of them showed me the strength of those who face adversary with their chins up and an attitude of “Well, this sucks. Onto the next!” I admired them for standing tall and proud, though I knew inside they were overcome with the fear of the unknown.

As bad as this sounds, I knew I’d be one of the last ones to go. It’s not that I’m particularly amazing or anything, but I had worked myself into a position where I was design, coding, and maintenance of the back-end of the company’s website. The girls who worked close to me, who became my friends, would joke about this fact using humor to mask the fear of who is next.

I grew quite close to the girls who worked next to me. We became good friends, joking around, having an ear to listen to me as I adjust to the south and the dull ache of missing my family and the loneliness of having to find a new set of friends in a new area. We’d do lunch together, share books, and talk of our dreams for life and the future. Pulling together, we’d do our best work with humor, elbow grease, and hold together the glue of the company while we feared for our jobs.

This past Thursday it all came crashing down.

That day, I did a short lunch break at a coffee shop we’d frequent on our daily “sanity breaks” (our phrasing for the ten minute breaks away from the tension and mile-a-minute pace of having to get shit done) with one of my coworkers. We discussed the upcoming weekend, Mack and my transition to having a roommate, and other mundane topics we’d normally discuss. A week previous, I had given my two weeks notice with the company. I missed Seattle so I went back to my old company, who allowed me to telecommute making it easy for the time when Mack and I would move back. The girls and I talked about how we’d survive without each other and my “smart ass humor” no longer being there.

We arrived back at the office in time for the one o’clock meeting. In our office building, two companies reside in the same space. Both companies are owned by the same parent company and often help each other out. By “help each other out”, in regards to me, I worked mornings for one company and the afternoon for the other. It was highly stressful but life is life. Since it was one o’clock I had been told I was not needed in the first companies meeting. Shrugging after being rejected from the conference room, I went back to my desk where my bosses boss asked to talk to me privately. Intrigued, I followed.

Looking back on it I can’t say the usual phrases like “time seemed to stop” when he delivered the news that my coworkers were in the process of being laid off. He wanted to tell me straight since he knew how close I was to them and he knew I’d be shaken, as they would, so he wanted me to know I could take time this afternoon to be there for them. Shocked, I stepped out of there and ran into my coworker who had been late to the meeting who would be delivered the news next.

Fuck.

Seeing my spooked look, she questioned me and, not knowing what the fuck to do, I knocked over my chai tea all over the floor. As she helped me pick it up I wrestled with if I should tell her or not since she was about to find out anyway. My hand shaking I looked up at her and knew if she had been in my place she would have told me.

“You’re about to get laid off.”

I don’t remember much after that other than the other two girls coming out of the conference room, my other coworker being called in, and me having to go to the other companies meeting where the news would be delivered again. After the meeting, I had my shit together still, until I saw the retreating backs of my coworkers as they left the building and I burst into tears as I ran to them. Smiling, they started crying and called me an idiot since they hadn’t cried until they saw me cry.

Together (after I went upstairs and grabbed my purse and burst into tears again) we went to pub for a pint, united in grief but feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted. It’s a sign of the times. The economy sucks. Jobs are scarce. I’m lucky I was able to go back to my old company. I felt horrible as we downed our pints knowing I had given my two weeks and had another job to go back to while they would have to start sifting through this shitty market.

To my girls and those who have lost their jobs in this economy: I raise a pint for you and know better times and opportunities are yet to come.

Technorati Tags: economy, job market, bad economy, laid off, jobless, coworkers, coworkers laid off, this sucks, shitty situation