So from my preparation post on the move you could probably tell I went into the days before the move with relative ease and comfort. I was feeling good about the whole thing…

Until the night before the move.

Again, if you hadn’t noticed by now, I stress out REALLY easily. I think I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I wasn’t stressing and worrying about SOMETHING in my life. I guess stuff relating to the move started to really stack up against me. I wanted to make sure the apartment was in perfect condition in hopes that the apartment staff might overlook the parts of the carpet the cat decided to rip out (while he stared at Mack, of course). There were also various items that we needed when we got up to Washington that had to go into the cars. And, of course, we wanted to do dinner with some of our friends before we moved out of state. Trust me when I say I don’t regret having a “last meal” of sorts but in my twisted mental capacity when I was starting to get tired and thinking of the daunting task of driving 3,056 miles WHY THE HELL WAS I TAKING TIME TO EAT DINNER!?

My mind is a very messed up place to be.

By the time Bob and Mack got back from dinner (Hayley and I left a few minutes earlier so we could start packing my car with the unessential items) I was starting to loose my shit as the memories of the Phoenix move plagued me and I thought MY GOD, SOMETHING has to go wrong on this drive since nothing has else has gone wrong in this move. Almost to the point of hyperventilation for NO APPARENT REASON Mack put me in a time out and joined me as we took deep, calming breaths.

I guess in thinking back on that night I was stressing about how the cats would react to the trip. I don’t know if I have mentioned this before but Brutus likes to fuck with me while we’re in the car. He knows that I will play into his pity party so he likes to milk it for all it is worth. When I glance back at him the cat will totally roll his eyes into the back of his head and start panting as though he is at deaths door. He does this even on trips to the vet:

When Mack glances back? Mack gets glared at with the promise of a nice pile of shit on his pillow later. This happened when we were leaving Phoenix on our move to Jacksonville. After all the stress, anxiety, and general shit of that move, I happened to look back before we left our apartment complex and Brutus starts PANTING. Panting while his tongue hangs out and eyes roll into the back of his skull.

My Mom still remembers my phone call where I’m in tears and hysterics, claiming I can’t do this, no way, just shoot me now and end it since I will NOT last the next three days in the car if the cats are doing this!

Cue day 1 of the current move.

The morning started nice, bright, and early. Hayley and I decided to get some Starbucks before the big day since we wanted to leave nice and early in the morning. Unfortunately, upon stepping out the door, my stress kicked up a notch since the trunk of Mack’s car had been left open the night before. Luckily we lived in a safe apartment complex so nothing was missing, but I think that is not something Mack and I needed that early in the morning. After a quick Starbucks run, we came back and started loading the final items in the car and cleaning while we waited for the apartment management to come by and clear us and say peace out! since Mack had called them the previous day stressing that we wanted to leave ASAP that morning since we had 3,056 miles to drive!

9AM rolls in and no sign of them.

10AM we are all hungry so Hayley and I run to Burger King to get us all some food. The lady at the register instantly improves my mood with her friendly nature, her sadness of us moving away from Jacksonville (though I had never met the woman before), and her comment of upon seeing two women come in after us dressed in animal print loudly proclaiming “Welcome to the jungle! Rawr!”

By 11AM, we had called our friend Nicole to pick up a few items we couldn’t get into the car and, calling the front office, they finally came by to sign off on the apartment complex.

The trip started out happy since we were all excited to be starting our trip and huzzah! We were finally underway! Unfortunately we missed the exit to take the Interstate 10, and so had to take another road up to Georgia— so we took the scenic route through rural Georgia. I swear to you this Internet, there were signs for “Moonshine” nailed to trees… among other amazing treasures. Also, as Hayley observed to me: “There are a lot of horror movie-worthy houses out here.”

Indeed.

We hit Atlanta, Georgia in time for rush hour traffic which wasn’t, ultimately, as bad as I had been thinking it would be. One interesting thing that came out of it was being right next to a car that got rear ended pretty epically. Hayley and I, in real dick moves, laughed when we witnessed it since the crunch was really loud and we had front row seats for the action. I know, how can you be such bitches, Anne?! What if that had been YOU?  Well… I hate to say this but I think we laughed since it wasn’t us (since I was paying attention as I drove since I was behind Mack) and the look on the dudes face as he came out of his truck, hellbent on ripping the legs off the dude who hit his precious car… priceless.

I’m sorry, I laughed. At least I can admit to it and know I’m a bitch for it.

The only other newsworthy events that happened that night were going back and forth between Georgia and Tennessee for a stretch of the freeway and stopping at Cracker Barrel. Do you have ANY idea how many fireworks stores there are in Tennessee? I swear to you that there are at least five million. That, and adult stores. That is basically all you see in the mid-west: fireworks and porn. Oh, and corn.

For those of you up in the northwest let me tell you this: you are not living until you have had Cracker Barrel. I had never heard of the restaurant until I visited my brothers family in Phoenix for my nephews first birthday and, after laughing profusely at the name of the restaurant, I admit I was impressed. I’m sure this will be insulting to the southerners out there, but their food reminds me so much of The South. It’s not “true” Southern food I know but still, it’s pretty darn good and the calories tasted oh so delicious.

Unfortunately, they didn’t have meatloaf (and I think that the waitress was scared of our heathen ways) but minus that disappointment we were back on the road and made it to Nashville, TN that night.

When Mack and I ventured forth to try and find yogurt for the sugar gliders (you know how hard yogurt is to find at 10PM on a Tuesday night? Impossible! We should know since we didn’t find any, ultimately) we stopped at a (closed) Piggly Wiggly and Mack seriously saw a mutant creature behind the store as we pulled off to go back on the street. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement which, in turning, looked like either a dog or a pig. Naturally (of course) Mack turned around and shone his headlights in the area for what felt like an eternity until his girlfriend screamed she was getting scared. Wouldn’t you be scared? My mind instantly thought the pig-dog would JUMP out from behind the crates and attack his car wanting our brains or something equally atrocious!

Remember, I passed a bunch of horror film ready houses in rural Georgia. It was still very much on my mind.

And thus concluded day one… to a degree. The night between day 1 and 2 shall be saved for the next post.

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