Beggars can’t be choosers but this whole living in a fishbowl deal? It’s really annoying.

Let me back up for a second here and tell you about our current living situation.

As time was ticking down for us moving back to the northwest both Mack and I found that we were swamped with work and busy on the weekends packing. On top of that: have you seen airline ticket prices lately? I have yet to see proof that the airline industry is trying to draw travelers back by offering cheap airline tickets. Oil prices are going back up again and seeing as how the airline industry is already hurting I sincerely doubt they can discount more than they already are.

Anyway, so, here we are, a month before the move and I’m sitting watching airline prices but stuck since we already were busy and had plans each weekend up until we left. My brother, luckily, offered us a solution. Mark (as you have seen mentioned in our chicken porn discussion) moved back to the northwest a few weeks before we did. He had finished his medical school residency and, after living on the east coast for fourteen years, decided he wanted to be closer to the family and got hired for a position out here on the west coast. Mark knew of our situation and (very kindly) offered us a place to stay when we got there so it was one less thing to think about as we prepared our epic 3000 mile journey.

The house that Mark rented (while looking for another house to actually buy) is on the market still and, luck be to us, has a cottage behind the house which we have essentially “set up shop” in. All our stuff is still in boxes for the most part, however, it works. Thumbs way up for the brother.

Now, about the fishbowl I mentioned…

As I stated above, the house which Mark is renting is still on the market. A few times a week Mark will get a phone call asking us to vacate for an hour so that someone else can come look at the house. Lucky for us, Mark tells them each time that he has company in the cottage so Mack and I don’t have to hide boxes and stash cats. The having to leave the house can be mildly irritating especially if I have a conference call for work at the same time so have to set up my laptop et al down at the local Starbucks. This, however, is easy to live with since we usually get 24-hour notice. It’s not as irritating as to when I was a nanny for my nephew and my (other) brother had his house on the market and I had to vacate with 30-minute notice while I had a eight-month old baby. That sucked.

The problem I have with the fishbowl existence? The nosy, bold potential buyers.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a house for sale but people, for the most part, will keep their distance from the house. They will stare at it, judging the outside as best as they can, and usually be on their way after a few minutes. These I don’t mind since usually I don’t know they’re out there and when I notice it’s usually when I’m jumping on Mack’s back in an attempt to be really annoying. Yesterday, however, for some reason a whole crop of really bold intrusive individuals took it upon themselves to cross the line and come up on the porch and peer in the windows.

Yes, put their faces against the windows and stare.

Some people, while kind of crossing the line in climbing the stairs and wandering around on the patio, will respect that there are people inside and usually just wander the patio and glance around. There are, however, people who will stick their faces on the window and stare at us. Like we’re fish. Beautiful, majestic, technologically advanced fish, but fish nonetheless. I wish I could say this is probably one in every fifty people that intrudes on our lives and makes me feel naked and exposed to the world. But honestly? Lately it’s kind of been one in three people who do it.

Take for example Monday. As I was eating lunch Mack got up to go towards the kitchen to get something when he said, “There is a crazy woman on the patio who is… sticking her face on the window and staring at you.” Shocked, I turned around and indeed, there was a woman with her face pressed against the glass staring at me as I ate. I stopped chewing and turned my face around quickly back towards the monitor wondering the whole time if this is how zoo animals felt.

But wait, it gets better.

Monday morning, before the cereal incident, I stumbled out of the cottage right before work in my sweats as I walked towards Mack’s car to get my laptop bag. Beside me I hear the unmistakeable crunch of the gravel as a car pulls down the alley and stops. Frightened, I look up and find a strange man had gotten out of his car and was approaching me asking me questions about the house and what is my involvement in said house. (Mack was, fortunately, watching the exchange from inside having just come down the stairs himself). I told him my brother was renting the house and cottage and was secretly really shocked and flabbergasted as the tenacity of this individual. Sure, while many an individual peek inside but he was the first to go behind the house and openly snoop. When I went into the house and poured myself a bowl of cereal there was a knock on the front door. The stranger who was behind the house was now in front and wanted to know if it would be alright if he looked around the yard. Flabbergasted, I agreed and let him do his thing.

When I told my brother about this later he was beyond pissed at how daring and invasive these people are. Sure, the house is on the market, but it’s really obvious that people are living here. They don’t get discouraged and/or shy when they see us trying to live our lives. No, they press their faces against the glass and almost snoop into our lives. Mark says every other day upon seeing someone else on the patio “is like living in a fucking fishbowl.” No longer does my game of sitting on the front patio and staring back really amuse me. I kind of want my privacy back.

Luckily, Mark bought a new house which will be move-in ready at the end of September. He graciously is letting us rent out the basement (which is finished basement with two rooms and a living room of sorts). We are excited and really appreciative and can’t honestly wait to get our privacy back. Perhaps if we find the voyeur-esk existence is missed we can get those cardboard cut-outs of movie stars at video stores and put them in our windows.

So, if you’re looking to buy a house, please please PLEASE people if you are going to look at houses, DON’T:

1. Climb up near the front door or within a five foot radius of the house.
2. Peer inside the windows. Especially if I’m there since I might flip you the bird at this point.
3. Leave cigarette butts around in the lawn.
4. Break shit.

Respect people’s privacy, please. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if I came and stared in YOUR windows, that’s all I’m sayin’.

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