Me: That mall really sucked. It had like, no ATMs.
Mom: Really? That surprises me.
Me: I KNOW. I searched the whole mall looking for one! There was this woman out in front of the mall with a kitten and I wanted to get some money to help her get kitten food or something.
Mom: Oh, it’s good then. The mall was protecting you from your own stupidity.
Me: But! It was a KITTEN. A BLACK KITTEN.
Mom: Case in point.

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