Friday night after I got home I noticed I had missed a call from my brother Noah at 11:30pm. Concerned, I called him back to find out the devastating news: they had to put down Midnight.

Midnight first came into our lives when I was a freshman in high school. One of Noah’s clients’ grandchildren was followed home from school by this big love of a black dog who wanted nothing more than a pet on the head and attention. Unfortunately they lived in a house with no yard and told Noah of their problem. My parents, already the happy owners of the spunky yellow lab Sierra, agreed to open their arms and hearts to another animal.

Sierra and Midnight were partners in crime and loved each other so deeply. Wherever Sierra went Midnight was usually close behind watching her back or there to reap the benefits of her begging for treats. Where Sierra was in your face and hyper active Midnight counter-acted her spunky energy and gave her a zen and calming force to keep her in check. Yellow and Black they were each other’s ying and yang.

Fall of 2006, Sierra was slowing down and not as much of the peppy puppy that she had been for years. She wasn’t old by any stretch of the imagination but the years were slowly catching up with her.

Then she was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Sierra bravely pushed forward and tried to hide her pain from the her beloved family. We saw her slowing down and tried to hope for the best outcome for her. Through it Midnight was her rock, cuddling up to her and knowing when she was pushing herself and silently getting her to slow down and take each moment as they came. By December she was in too much pain, the cancer spreading too rapidly, and we had to put her down.

We all handled her death really hard. The diagnosis was shattering and from the time we heard “cancer” we had a few short weeks left with her before it became too much. Everyone in the family was devastated by the loss of Sierra. None as much as Midnight.

I honestly don’t think Midnight ever got over the loss of Sierra. The years caught up to Midnight with her death and for weeks, months, years he’d go around the house as though part of him was missing. My parents eventually adopted another dog, Maggie, who served as an energetic companion but I don’t think Sierra could ever be replaced in Midnights heart. Sometimes you’d look at him and see the air of such sadness and loss it just broke your heart.

When I moved back this summer I was surprised at how old Midnight had gotten in the time I had been gone. Every time I went up to visit my parents I’d fear it’d be the last time I’d see Midnight alive. I tried taking as many pictures as I could but something in his past, before he came into our lives, gave him such an aversion to cameras that I didn’t want to stress him out and tried to let him sleep in peace. He had slowed down and the gravity of a life at its end weighted down upon him and brought an almost sense of peace to the great black dog.

Tuesday I went up to my parents house to do dinner with my brother and parents and Midnight wasn’t feeling well. He had had surgery to remove a tumor and slept most of the time. At one point he tried to get up but just couldn’t find the strength or energy to get up and stand on his legs. My brother helped him up and all of us avoided eye contact while praising Midnight. The end was near but none of us was really ready to accept it yet.

Friday night my Dad took the dogs out for their nightly walk before he went to bed. Midnight, tired and hating the dark, opted to stand in the driveway as my Dad took Maggie down the street to do her business. When my Dad got back Midnight had collapsed on the driveway and couldn’t get up despite his valiant efforts. Dad went upstairs in tears to find my Mom who called Noah thinking he was out. Fortunately, Noah was home and was able to bring his car around, wrap a warm blanket around Midnight, and drive him to the animal ER where he had to ultimately be put down.

Writing this entry is the first time I’ve cried about the passing of Midnight. I’ve been telling myself repeatedly good stories about Midnight and taken comfort in the fact that he had a long happy life with us. He was a well loved dog with a heart of gold and a doggie smile that could light up a room. I know if there is an afterlife that he’s reunited with Sierra and oh-so-happy. He’s sorely missed by all and left behind a void in all our hearts that yearns to be reunited. I’m glad his suffering is over and take comfort in him being apart of our lives for so long but still, it hurts and I miss our dog.

Midnight, you were a good dog and shall sorely be missed. We’ll never forget you boy.

Technorati Tags: dogs, dog, death, rainbow bridge, animal passing, euthanasia, pet death, animal death, loss, bereavement