I wish I could say something dramatic like “yesterday my world came crashing down upon me” or, as one friend put it, “how are I going to survive!?”, but the truth is not as dramatic as everyone is making it out to be.

As of yesterday I have joined the world of the unemployed.

Cue dramatic sound effects.

Sucks, yes, but what are you going to do? Let me take a step backwards and give you some background as to my past week.

Last Thursday I flew down at 5am to Arizona to kill two birds with one stone: visit family and go into the office. I’ll talk more about the lighter and happier aspects of the trip (aka what a ham my nephew is) later but let’s go ahead what the shit aspect of the turns life throws at you.

As I’ve mentioned before on this website I telecommuted to a company down in Phoenix, Arizona. I was fortunate enough that they were flexible in letting me do the telecommuting thing. I felt it was high time to go into the office and see my coworkers and boss so they could see me hard at work… or something along those lines. Plus, I hadn’t seen my nephew in a year and trust me when I say it was high time to spoil the adorable little boy.

I got him Viking gear to broaden his horizon beyond Star Wars costumes

I had fun hanging out with my coworkers and visiting the office but the commute was pretty horrible. I chalked it up to a few days long trip and ultimately my usual commute wasn’t horrible. Plus, it showed what a loyal employee I was and that I hoped to be there for awhile.

Cue Thursday morning.

When I logged onto my work email I saw a message from the president of the company informing the office that there was going to be lay offs that day with twelve people being cut that day. As soon as I read it my first thought was “Shit, I’ll be one of those twelve.” By nature I am a worrier and I’ve survived lay offs before so told myself to be rational and that it might not be me…

… until my boss messaged me on MSN and said, before I got too much into work, that he wanted to call and talk with me.

Then, yes then, I knew I was joining the masses of the unemployed.

I wish I could say I took it calmly. I guess I would have if he had called me when he said he would instead of waiting ten minutes for me to psyche myself out about it. When he did call the HR representative was with him in the office to inform me of the cuts and that I was unfortunately being let go. By this point I was doing my gasping hiccup sobs and had the phone on mute minus the times that a response was required of me.

I wasn’t upset about the loss of the job, really, but more the loss of steady income coming in on a regular basis. The fear of the unknown was what upset me the most. The comfort blanket of the job security being yanked off me abruptly and leaving me exposed to the unknown world around me was what made me sob as I paced around the kitchen listening to them express remorse. It wasn’t performance based but, being as I wasn’t physically there, I imagine I was the easiest the let go.

I thank the company for all the opportunities it presented it, everything I learned from them, and look back on it as something positive. It also showed me that perhaps what I was doing career wise wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do. I don’t know. I’m only twenty-five and hardly have the answers of life. This whole new world of having no job is making me reevaluate what I want to do with my career and opens me up to try things I kept putting off since I didn’t have time to make them happen.

Now, as I’ve jokingly been saying for the past two days, I have all the time in the world.

After I got off the phone I ran downstairs and dove onto Mack sobbing. Mack’s first reaction was “which of the cats died?!” but quickly found out the reason for my crying and smiled while stroking my hair. It would be okay, he assured me, this was for the best and looking beyond the fear of this unknown it’d make me act and try out my talents and see what works for me and what won’t. My Mom also assures me that it isn’t the end of the world and it is for the best.

It’s not the end of the world. I know I keep saying it but it’s not. Instead it must be looked at like an opportunity to spread my wings and have an open mind about everything and anything that comes by mind. It’s only a job. More will come and go in my lifetime. As long as I got my family and friends it’ll be okay.

Just breathe in and take each day as it comes. It’s my mantra and all I can do is give my usual 110%.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

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