I know I’m weird. I can also admit that I have a pure love for the ridiculous nature of spam emails. Just something about them brings a smile to my face and a small chuckle of “Oh you!” each time I receive one. Back when I was working in Florida my company email account would be flooded with about five-hundred spam email comments overnight. Usually the other marketing girls and I would get frustrated with this development but quickly discovered that oftentimes they have the most ridiculous subject lines full of empty promises and false pretenses.

Remember, I like celebrity gossip so I’m all about the false nature of people.

Now, let’s start with some of the classic email titles:

“Your email address was picked for 789,000GBP”

Really!? All my wildest dreams have now come true! All you need is my banking routing number, right?

“Make it Jumbo. Try it out. paint.”

What? I admit I’m intrigued since it makes NO SENSE.

“Uld have betrayed her many, many times. It was inexplicable. Now that Tum”

Now this one looks promising! When I opened it I was not disappointed:

“Rry Cissie Dildine.” “Shu! Then whut fur dey go roun’ peepin’ at each other lak a couple o’ niggers roun’ a haystack?” The old lawyer was annoyed. “Peepingwhere?” “Why, right in front o’ dis house, dat’s wha; ever’ day when dat hussy passes up to de Arkwrights’, wha she wucks. She pokes along an’ walls her eyes roun’ at dis house lak a calf wid de splivins.” “That going on now?” “Ever’”

What about this one? The title is “Re: Important Notice!” Since it has “Re:” that means I totally emailed them first, right?

“Hope all is well with you? With due respect to your person and with much sincerity of purpose I make this contact with you as I believe that you can be of great assistance to me, I am the head of operation Falcon Private Bank; I’m writing you regarding a pressing issue in my bank, that will be of interest/benefit to you. It involved huge sum of money that was linked with you.”

The Engrish alone makes it worth the read.

“My name is Mr. Jerry Ntai,I am the Head of Operations in Mevas Bank, Hong Kong. I have a business proposal in the tune of $22,700,000.00 to be transferred to an offshore account with your assistance if willing.After the successful transfer, we shall share inratio of 30% for you and 70% for me.”

Wow! This seems totally legit! Look at all this money I could be making!

If you’re not gullible and fall easily to 4-1-9 frauds I highly suggest just reading the titles of these emails. I guarantee the ridiculousness will amuse you to no end.

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