Sunday morning Mack and I decided that we wanted to go explore somewhere within the great state of Washington. Lately we’ve been making a point of going out to get to know places and people. I also like to say we’re working on my “social ineptitude” which usually earns me a glare from Mack. One of my favorite things is to get into the car with Mack and the open road ahead of us. Sometimes we have a place in mind as the final destination but oftentimes my favorite is when there is no end point in mind but rather what looks neat. Two weeks ago we explored a lot of Seattle and the suburbs as we drove around all afternoon with me saying “Left!”, “Right!”, or “Keep going straight!”.

Now, as you remember, I have horrible road rage and get stressed out very easily when I’m the one behind the wheel. These fun adventures wouldn’t be fun if I was behind the wheel since I’d be convinced we’d both die and the cats would be alone and then pain and suffering would ensue… all because I was lost. I can’t handle getting lost in the car. I don’t know why. This drives Mack crazy since, often, when I’m lost instead of consulting my iPhone I’ll call Mack and demand to know where the hell I am and how do I get to the location I am seeking!?

This is why he got me a GPS before we moved to Florida. Best anniversary and graduation present rolled into one EVER.

Mack and I love to drive around or get out and walk around in new areas. It’s all part of my emerging from my shell of awkward shyness and getting to know people. Pushing past my shell of indifference and cynicism and know that yes, sometimes people do suck and hurt you but why shut out the world and the possibility of meeting new awesome people because of those few shitheads?

Sunday after we got all our stuff together and picked up my brother we headed up to Mount Rainier for the day. There is a lot of vast open spaces in western/central Washington and it was a marvel and joy to get to see and experience it. I think hands down the best part was seeing the alpacas tied in front of the fire station in this small town before we got to the park. Why were they tied in front of the fire station? There had to be a story behind that and boy you know we made up our own stories.

We managed to (eventually) got up to Paradise almost in time for sunset despite my brothers insistence that “if we keep stopping you’re going to loose the light.” I was thrilled with all the snow on the side of the road leading up to Paradise and kept exclaiming “SNOW! LOOK! SNOW!” much to Mack and Mark’s amusement. I mean, SNOW people! I won’t go into the depths of my disappointment that we didn’t really get snow this year… while on the other hand I remember what a giant pain driving in the snow is.

So conflicted.

As the sun started to set and I felt like a block of ice after climbing up onto the snow to get some beautiful shots of the mountain. On the way down the mountain we pulled over to look at a random water fall we’d passed on our way up and you know I wanted pictures of it. Unfortunately, there was a huge blockade of ice that stood a good six plus feet between me and the view of the water fall below. Normally I am tall and get some pretty nice shots due to my Sasquatch-esk genes but this time I was pretty much S.O.L..

… until Mack suggested I climb up the ice bank with my $1000+ camera. Trust him, he’d hold me up while I got my shots.

Awesome idea? Or potentially bad one? I blamed him for what happened but he argues that he didn’t force me to do it.

I, of course, thought at the time it was a good idea. So here we are, my converse shoes shoved into the ice bank as I leaned over to get a view of the waterfall with my expensive piece of equipment as I simultaneously hoped the ice wouldn’t give way and I’d fall a few hundred feet to my death.

Gulp.

Taking my last shot I told Mack I was done which was very fortunate since I lost my footing and started falling/sliding down the little ice bank into Mack who was still supporting me. Naturally my instinct was “SAVE THE CAMERA” and I held it away from the ice and my body as the other side of my body took the brunt of the impact.

My rationalization? My body will heal. Thus far I haven’t found the Nikon’s self-heal function. Guess that means I really should read that manual…

Now, a few days later, I have bruises the size of tennis balls on my left legs. Was it worth it? So long as you don’t touch my left leg I’d have to say yes. It was so worth it.

Technorati Tags: photography, day trips, exploring, photos, mountains, mount rainier, ice, snow, bodily harm, washington state, washington, cascades, adventures, nikon d90

Friday night, I had perhaps one of the strangest dreams in my life. Trust me when I say that I have had some pretty far out there dreams in the past. All you really have to do is meet me and talk to me for a brief period to realize I’m a pretty strange individual. Of course a strange person would have weird dreams! Duh!

For example, one dream I had in childhood gave me a lifelong aversion to poodles. True story. Of course, I think you too would have this aversion if you had a dream at six of a poodle who sucked people’s souls with its eyes had cornered you in your parents room to suck your soul after wiping out the rest of the neighborhood. It was really awkward meeting my friend Hayley’s poodle senior year of high school and I was like “Oh… a poodle” and the dog sensed my distrust and bit my butt.

That dog pretty much proved my distrust of poodles with his actions.

Friday night, I had a real whopper of a dream. Leading up to sleep I guess was pretty intense. I had to drive to the airport to pick Mack up for the weekend and it was pouring buckets of water onto the freeway. While I still adore the state of Washington and love being back, there is one thing that drives me crazy on a daily basis: the drivers and passive driving. I’ll give allowances in that I know I have road rage (obviously (and this)) but the passive nature of “no, you first, please” coupled with the massive freeway freakout over water falling from the sky in WASHINGTON STATE? I was pretty stressed and angry going to bed.

Also, I’m a really light sleeper. I will wake up to the sound of Mack lightly snoring and usually slug him and order him to roll over. I’m a caring and gentle girlfriend like that. That night, I woke up in semi-awake states and heard this faint beeping noise. Tired beyond all reason, since the cats had started CrackFest October 09! at 5:57am (since that is when my friend decided to text me) that morning, I figured it would go away and fell into a deep sleep as this faint beeping sound filled my ears.

Cue dream sequence.

In my dream the beeping noise from reality was there and, in my perfectly sane mind, it equated to turkeys. In retrospect, I had shown Mack pictures I had taken of wild turkeys— this was just before bed but why my mind jumped to turkeys as to the source of the beeping… I shall always wonder. More than anything, I wanted for the turkeys to shut up since didn’t they know I was trying to sleep? As I gradually grew more irritated in my dream, Mack popped up beside me in dream land. Calmly, as though explaining things to a child, he informed me the sound I was hearing was the Internet Turkeys and they were doing their job.

Yes. Internet Turkeys.

Think this plus internet

Mack went on to explain that the gobbling sound that they were producing (remember it was beeping so this caused great confusion to me in my dream) was the basis of the internet and what kept it running and functioning. If they stopped gobbling and making that god-awful noise then the internet would go out and I was basically back to not having internet again (much like all of last week). Frustrated, I asked Mack if there was a way to escape the sound or for them to, I don’t know, shut up a little without breaking the internet.

Gravely, Mack shook his head as he turned his back on me and went back to his laptop. “No Anne, without the Internet Turkey’s the internet would cease to be.”

Shaken to the core as to the power of these Internet Turkeys, I semi-woke up and stared up at the darkened bedroom ceiling. Gradually, as I woke up, I realize that there was this really irritating beeping coming from somewhere inside the room. Since I tend to overreact if something spooks me awake (my stomach clenches and almost throw up; welcome to Mack’s life) I shook Mack up and I informed him, not so calmly, there was beeping coming from inside the room.

WE ARE GUNNA DIE! (Read this with a Southern accent in your mind since that is how I am thinking of it. I do miss the wonderfully frustrating Southern drawl).

Calmly (unlike his girlfriend) Mack got up and started searching the room for the source of the Internet Turkey noise. Eventually it was traced back to his backpack and determined to be his noise canceling headphones which had not been turned off.

As we climbed back into bed I told him my story of the Internet Turkeys and their power of keeping the internet well and healthy. This caused Mack, naturally, to laugh his ass off at me and fall asleep chuckling about Internet Turkeys.

So there you have it. Now you know that you aren’t made up of a series of tubes but held together by the power of the Internet Turkeys and their infinite wisdom.

Technorati Tags: dreaming, weird dreams, dream analysis, internet, basis of internet, internet turkeys, strange dreams, neurotic

While we were watching a movie Mark let out a sudden scream of sheer terror. Running across the room a spider (which was approximately the size of a small dog) was heading straight for him. After a panicked scream of “Spider! Big spider!” Mark realized that Mack wouldn’t be able to save him in time and thus threw his tile coaster and managed to direct hit and, ultimately, kill the spider.

After Mack removed the corpse the following conversation occurred:

Mark: I’m sorry Mack that I killed that spider. It was hauling ass towards me.
Me: With death in his eyes.
Mark: Exactly. Now where exactly did it come from you think?
Me: The depths of hell itself.
Mark: Well I sent it straight back there!

Technorati Tags: conversations, spiders, convos, creepy crawling creatures, disgusting, arachnophobia

Mark: How about chicken parm?
Me: What? Chicken PORN?
Mark: Chicken PARM.
Me: I was going to say, isn’t bestiality illegal?
Mack: For one, this is Washington state. Besides, as I hear it, chicken porn has way too much cock.

This, of course, made me give Mack a hearty high five for his quick thinking.

Me: Oh a dead raccoon! That’s so sad!
Mack: I thought you hated raccoons.
Me: I do but that doesn’t mean I like seeing them dead on the side of the road.
Mack: You need to work on your hypocritical two-sided hatred of animals.

Parlor tricks.

(ignore the mess in the background. We’re currently de-cluttering the apartment. Do, however, pay attention to the glaring Brutus in the chair under the table on the right).

Technorati Tags: cats, animal training, cat tricks, free time, funny animals

Me: We need to hit the grocery store.
Mack: Why?
Me: Well, unless you want me wiping my ass on the carpet.
Mack: Oh. I didn’t realize the situation was that desperate.
Me: Yes. We are out of toilet paper, as I said earlier.
Mack: I assumed the toilet paper was the reason in question… unless there is some other reason for you to play scooter across the carpet which is something I’d probably want to know ahead of time.

Technorati Tags: conversations, awkward, relationships, inappropriate conversations