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Should I say ‘I cut myself to feel’?

May 18, 2010 – 12:32 am

I’m a klutz with a tendency towards unintentional self-harm. It’s not like I seek out to physically hurt myself. I’m not one of those emo kids who writes dark poetry and cuts myself to feel. No. It’s called navigating the world while being Anne. For example, no I don’t know how I got the bruise the size of a baseball on my leg but I’m sure it was awesome and thus I blocked it out of my memory.

Mack likes to say if he looks at me funny I will bruise and be black and blue for a week. I wish I could say this was a joke but at any given time I have at least five bruises on my body and a flesh wound of some sort. I mean I do have a tendency to walk into doors in the middle of the night.

Although I still maintain it jumped out at me.

I know that I’m a klutz and know I shouldn’t be handling anything that could potentially hurt myself. I know this…

Cue my latest act of stupidity and self harm from today.

I crashed up at my parents the other day and unfortunately left my razor for shaving at their house (Mack would like it to be noted that it used to be his razor. I point out it was his until he decided he had to have the black one thus giving me his old one). I’m not one of those free-loving females who likes to be one with her body and have all sorts of body hair unchecked all over my body. All the power to you if you like hairy armpits and legs but I simply can’t tolerate it.

This afternoon when I was taking a shower (shut up, I’m still unemployed and doing freelance gigs thus pj’s are a morning must) I realized yet again my misfortunate of having no razor. But wait!, I brilliantly thought, I had the replaceable heads I could hold in my fingers and shave my armpits!

I bet you know where this is going.

Fortunately for me I was able to shave without incident. So why’d I have to tempt fate and decide to clean the razor in the sink? By tapping the razor blade with my fingers. Yes. Tapping. With my fingers.

A few taps in the slight stinging sensation on my middle finger alerted me that I had, yet again, managed to mutilate myself. As I rushed to stop the bleeding I silently screamed to myself, ‘Why me?’ And ‘why does water make it hurt MORE?!’

I swear to you: I should buy stock in band-aids. With the rate I go through them I could be a very happy investor by the time I hit 30… if I don’t accidentally kill myself first.

Technorati Tags: klutz, injuries, stupid mistakes, being stupid, shaving mishaps

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By Annbee | Comments (1)

Meeting The Pioneer Woman

April 20, 2010 – 2:18 pm

I can honestly admit I’m a new fan to The Pioneer Woman and her amazing website. Some people who could be named have been a fan of hers much, much longer than I have. I finally sat down about two months ago and started going through her website and fell in love. I’m sorry I resisted so long Emily. You were right. Can you forgive me? Ree seems like a real down to earth kind of lady and hasn’t let fame go to her head like a lot of bloggers who’s blogs I read.

Not to link links or anything.

Ree is a woman of many talents and through her website it’s actually given me a desire to learn to cook (!), try gardening, and learn more about photography. I guess with photos I always felt that you had to take the perfect shot and couldn’t do much in the way of post production work. Pioneer Woman taught me that yes, while taking an amazing shot is a plus, post production work isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Thanks for that, PW.

Anyway, even though I’m a self professed newbie fan of hers it didn’t stop me from going all fangirl when I heard that she was going a mini book tour and would be up here in Seattle.

Cue minor heart attack and email to Emily of “WE ARE SO GOING TO THIS.” All in caps and horrifying in the intensity in which I emailed it.

Unfortunately the day before the big event Emily was unable to come up for it thus it was decided (or arm twisted enough) that Mack would instead go with me. Mack, being the good sport that he is, went along for the ride to humor his girlfriend in her fangirl ways.

This was only my second book signing to date. The first one I did a few years ago with Hayley to see Philippa Gregory when she was doing a book tour for “The Constant Princess”. It was kind of a small signing with perhaps about fifty fans. The thing I really remember about it though? I had a runny nose the whole time.

Slightly related thing about me: I get a runny nose when I’m nervous. What’s up with that, body?

Anyway, since this was my second book signing I went in not really knowing how it would go down and thinking la-de-da! it might be kind of a small intimate affair like the last book signing I went to! Yes, I went into this painfully oblivious as to the fanbase and intensity of Pioneer Woman’s powers. I thought it might last only an hour or two to wait to get the book signed and we’d be out the door to my parents house to get some stuff we needed to get.

Wrong.

On so many levels was I wrong.

Four and a half hours later (and lots of book window shopping and iPhone games) my group, G, was finally called and victory was soon mine. Now, I had brought my Nikon D90 but here’s the thing: I’m painfully shy. Like, I don’t like asking people to take their photos since I myself hate having my photograph taken. It’s something I seriously need to work on especially when it was finally our turn to go up the people helping Ree out balked that I didn’t have a camera. I had left it in the car. I had my phone and I think they were unimpressed that I asked for a photo taken with my phone with the amazing Pioneer Woman herself.

Duly noted: get over my shyness and realize it’s okay to take photos at book events. I worried I’d make her feel like a zoo animal or something by taking her picture. Obviously I’m a touch over-critical about this stuff.

When we went up to Ree she was, as stated, one of the nicest people ever. When I requested she sign the copy of her book I bought for Emily with a special message not only did she get a kick out of it but actually KNEW what we were referencing. Like, she reads her twitter at-reply messages! I was blown away. Seriously.

Sorry Emily for embarrassing you so thoroughly in front of Pioneer Woman. She totally got a kick out of it though!

(referencing a tweet)

All in all? I adore the Pioneer Woman and think you should all buy her book! It’s made me, the person who hates being in the kitchen, excited to try to make all of this food! Plus, it’s supporting a, pardon the language, kick ass woman who is the nicest and coolest person you’ll ever meet.