Tonight was particularly hard though to think of a topic while pissed off. I was suppose to meet up with a friend tonight who I haven’t seen in a few years. Without going into great detail I’ll simply state I got flaked out on again after waiting around for almost an hour.

I get it. Stuff happens. I’m a very punctual person by nature so these things will get under my skin.

So after getting home and eating dinner I brought back from the Asian market (much to Mack’s pleasure for his own take-out dinner surprise treat) I stared at the keyboard perplexed as to what to write. Should I try to force humor when I’m irritated? Explore the unknown? Or better yet…

Share random images on my desktop!

I have a habit of dragging images I find amusing onto my desktop thus I don’t know all the sources of these fine images. If you know leave a comment and I will rectify the situation!

First off…

This cat kills me dead. The expression on his face says “I will kill you while you sleep and make your skin into a nice overcoat.”

For all the nerdy animal people in your life you know (not that I’m pointing fingers Emily)!

SLAYS me. If you actually click on the cat spinning the record it’s an animated gif and your life will never be the same again.

This one was actually one of my volley’s for the layer tennis my former coworker Micah and I do whenever we get around to it. I think he still fails to see by amusement with this particularly fine image I made.

And finally:

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Remember, I like celebrity gossip so I’m all about the false nature of people.

Now, let’s start with some of the classic email titles:

“Your email address was picked for 789,000GBP”

Really!? All my wildest dreams have now come true! All you need is my banking routing number, right?

“Make it Jumbo. Try it out. paint.”

What? I admit I’m intrigued since it makes NO SENSE.

“Uld have betrayed her many, many times. It was inexplicable. Now that Tum”

Now this one looks promising! When I opened it I was not disappointed:

“Rry Cissie Dildine.” “Shu! Then whut fur dey go roun’ peepin’ at each other lak a couple o’ niggers roun’ a haystack?” The old lawyer was annoyed. “Peepingwhere?” “Why, right in front o’ dis house, dat’s wha; ever’ day when dat hussy passes up to de Arkwrights’, wha she wucks. She pokes along an’ walls her eyes roun’ at dis house lak a calf wid de splivins.” “That going on now?” “Ever’”

What about this one? The title is “Re: Important Notice!” Since it has “Re:” that means I totally emailed them first, right?

“Hope all is well with you? With due respect to your person and with much sincerity of purpose I make this contact with you as I believe that you can be of great assistance to me, I am the head of operation Falcon Private Bank; I’m writing you regarding a pressing issue in my bank, that will be of interest/benefit to you. It involved huge sum of money that was linked with you.”

The Engrish alone makes it worth the read.

“My name is Mr. Jerry Ntai,I am the Head of Operations in Mevas Bank, Hong Kong. I have a business proposal in the tune of $22,700,000.00 to be transferred to an offshore account with your assistance if willing.After the successful transfer, we shall share inratio of 30% for you and 70% for me.”

Wow! This seems totally legit! Look at all this money I could be making!

If you’re not gullible and fall easily to 4-1-9 frauds I highly suggest just reading the titles of these emails. I guarantee the ridiculousness will amuse you to no end.

Technorati Tags: scams, spam email, spammers, nigerian scams, amusement

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I have “personas” for the different situations of my life, however they all share in essence the same thread of my true self. Around my family, some friends, and of course Mack I am a loud, offbeat person who tells bad jokes and appreciates dark humor and all things good. I’m compassionate but can be crude and give them back the shit talk they will give me.

Around Mack’s friends or people I don’t really know I am terminally shy, soft spoken, and very reserved. Perhaps people think I am aloof and don’t like them? I open up and talk and become like my private persona the more I get to know you and what buttons set you off. I worry excessively about offending someone or somehow hurting them. It took me a long time in Phoenix to open up and show what a whacko I truly am around Mack’s friends who, in turn, became my friends as well.

With the online world, although I have the power of anonymity, I can be terminally shy. Rarely will I leave reviews on flickr, deviantart, or make comment on blogs since I worry about how I will be read and judged and fear misinterpretation. I worry that the trollers out there will just choose me as their next target to fling their hatred at and I’ll receive the brunt of it.

Don’t get me wrong though. I care what people think but I can shrug off criticism easily most of the time. It really depends on how close it hits to home. Call me an idiot and attack my work? Well, I am sorry, I know I am fairly intelligent and know my own mind and self so where is the basis of the judgement coming from? And attacking my creativity and work? Sorry to say, but I can improve with time and practices while you will always be a jerk. If you really make it personal and attack my family? That is pretty much a war declaration against me and you will not come out the victor.

I guess I can’t pretend to be a middle-aged man or high-powered CEO online. I can’t easily slip into the  anonymity of the internet and abuse the power which lies within it. I think my most rebellious “abuse” of the power was making an email account to check up on a friend who was going through a hard time and didn’t want to talk to me. Judge me if you will, but I think that is seriously the only abuse I have done online due to concern of a friend.

So: do you have many personas?

Technorati Tags: persona, online identity, identities, internet, anonymous, multiply personalities, user names

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Remember this stud muffin I posted his video and the parody awhile back?

Yes. That is Gunther (NSFW). I have the soundtrack I proudly admit. I have a morbid fascination with this man for some reason. I think since he’s so ridiculous and seemingly full of himself that I find myself under his hypnotic spell of sex.

Plus, the mullet helps.

Not everyone sees eye-to-eye with me on this matter, unfortunately. Plus, I think the invention of google was bad purely for moments in which I am bored and doing random internet searches.

Me: [link to demotivational poster of gunther]

B: NO JUST NO

Me: OH YES

Me: GUNTHER IS SEDUCING YOU WIF HIS EYES

B:: Ummmmm

B: no

B: sorry

Me: Points at profile pic [note: which I had set to Gunther's picture]

B: I hope he does not do it for you.

Me: His mullet amazes me

B: haha

B: magic powers be in dem locks

Me: [picture of Gunther]

Me: Yes. 

Me: Obviously else he wouldn’t get such puss

B: does that say lol?

Me: Probably love

Me: Gunther is pure love

B: well I will assume it says lol

B: like what people do when he expects them to take him serious

Me: He smolders them with his sexy gaze

Me: and invites them to touch his tra la la

B: ohh his ding ding dong?

Me: While he’s looking for some fun

Me: and looking for some — bleep –

B: stop it damn it lol

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Why am I stating this on the blog? Besides, of course, for the nefarious reasoning of inflating my monster ego. I thought I would serve up a little reminder since my blog design is lacking in anything remotely resembling good design. I am all about simplistic design and keeping it neat, however, this won’t do. 

For months I have been beating myself up physically (since it’s me; I run into stationary objects and walls that jump out of no-where all the time), and mentally as to a logo and a blog design for this website. I don’t really want to go into the number of times I’ve opened up Illustrator or Photoshop and started something and instantly got discouraged and gave up.

That’s a major problem I have as a designer: I over-analyze. Instead of letting the creativity flow as I piece together a design bit-by-bit I end up trying to picture how the end product will look. Sometimes I cut myself short and don’t allow myself the fun part of design: spontaneity. I will start working on a design, get an element complete and start on another and either forget the perfect picture in my mind due to the absorption of the task or it doesn’t come out how I planned it, and get mad. 

I have since gotten past the point where I get so flustered I will simply erase everything and start over. That is one thing I have learned in being a designer: taking a step back, doing something else, and coming back to it when my frustration has gone down. I have been working on a few projects where I will get an element complete, get frustrated, save, then close it and start a new document to try it from another angle. 

So I have found myself stuck in a corner in regards to this blog and design. Being such a perfectionist I expect nothing but the best that I can offer and that is a daunting hurdle to overcome. Logo design has never been my strong point though it is one of my favorite aspects of design to look at. So much can be conveyed about a company in a logo (especially the implicit arrow in FedEx logo. You’re welcome for ruining it and now that is all you will ever see). I place so much weight on trying to get the essence of what my blog is captured in a logo I find myself staring at the blank document in Illustrator, stumped.

As to the actual layout and design of the page I have a basic wireframe in my mind, however, that is where it ends. I’m very prone (much to the annoyance of Mack) to change my mind about designs day to day. I’ll design something and instantly dislike it. The back of my mind nags me telling me I could do better. This has driven Mack to the brink of insanity since I’ll have him code up a design and next thing he knows I’ll be complaining about it and trying another design.

Perhaps my eye for design comes from my perfectionist nature. Often when people ask me what my worst quality is I simply state that my best quality is also my worse: being a perfectionist. It means a lot of thought, detail, and time will go into something but at a certain point I need to learn to accept it is the best I can do and while I might not think it’s much, it is.

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A friend posted this earlier and I just had to share. The video and the concept is extremely impressive and I found myself grinning as I was watching it. I would love so much to be able to travel all over the world and just dance a small jig and have people let go of their worries and join me. 

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