You may be surprised to find out that I am a “professional” designer. I know that I have stated I went to art school but I’m unsure if I ever specified for what. I put professional in quotations since I know as a designer I have many areas in which I need to expand, learn, and develop. But, again, “professional” since that is my occupation in the work force and I have been told I have an “eye” for colors and layout by many people.

Why am I stating this on the blog? Besides, of course, for the nefarious reasoning of inflating my monster ego. I thought I would serve up a little reminder since my blog design is lacking in anything remotely resembling good design. I am all about simplistic design and keeping it neat, however, this won’t do. 

For months I have been beating myself up physically (since it’s me; I run into stationary objects and walls that jump out of no-where all the time), and mentally as to a logo and a blog design for this website. I don’t really want to go into the number of times I’ve opened up Illustrator or Photoshop and started something and instantly got discouraged and gave up.

That’s a major problem I have as a designer: I over-analyze. Instead of letting the creativity flow as I piece together a design bit-by-bit I end up trying to picture how the end product will look. Sometimes I cut myself short and don’t allow myself the fun part of design: spontaneity. I will start working on a design, get an element complete and start on another and either forget the perfect picture in my mind due to the absorption of the task or it doesn’t come out how I planned it, and get mad. 

I have since gotten past the point where I get so flustered I will simply erase everything and start over. That is one thing I have learned in being a designer: taking a step back, doing something else, and coming back to it when my frustration has gone down. I have been working on a few projects where I will get an element complete, get frustrated, save, then close it and start a new document to try it from another angle. 

So I have found myself stuck in a corner in regards to this blog and design. Being such a perfectionist I expect nothing but the best that I can offer and that is a daunting hurdle to overcome. Logo design has never been my strong point though it is one of my favorite aspects of design to look at. So much can be conveyed about a company in a logo (especially the implicit arrow in FedEx logo. You’re welcome for ruining it and now that is all you will ever see). I place so much weight on trying to get the essence of what my blog is captured in a logo I find myself staring at the blank document in Illustrator, stumped.

As to the actual layout and design of the page I have a basic wireframe in my mind, however, that is where it ends. I’m very prone (much to the annoyance of Mack) to change my mind about designs day to day. I’ll design something and instantly dislike it. The back of my mind nags me telling me I could do better. This has driven Mack to the brink of insanity since I’ll have him code up a design and next thing he knows I’ll be complaining about it and trying another design.

Perhaps my eye for design comes from my perfectionist nature. Often when people ask me what my worst quality is I simply state that my best quality is also my worse: being a perfectionist. It means a lot of thought, detail, and time will go into something but at a certain point I need to learn to accept it is the best I can do and while I might not think it’s much, it is.