Me: Shits about to get real in Austria.
Mark: The hills are fucking alive with the realness.
Me: Don’t fuck with Maria since she and her favorite things will fuck your shit up.
Mark: Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens and fucking up Nazi’s and singing on hills.

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Critter Care Instructions

Cats –
Their food is the one on top of the washer with the green top labeled “Gay Mafia Food Source”. Inside you’ll find a Dixie cup. Fill it with their food and distribute between the three bowls once a day. They will try to convince you that they need fed more but they’re liars. Fat liars. Replace their water once a day. Also, to note, there is a bowl of water in the bathroom. Bucky loves this. He’s kind of a spoiled brat.

Actually… they all are spoiled brats.

I’ll move Bucky’s Personal Water Bowl onto the counter in there since he will complain if this isn’t changed a few times a day. You only have to change it once a day. Make him grow some backbone.

Also to note: they love looking out the window in the front (perched on the couch) so if you close the blinds be sure to pull them up again else they will mess with the blinds. They also like the window looking at the back yard above their litter box. They’re not allowed on the counters or tables. They will try to ignore this rule. Beat them as necessary. This is, of course, a joke. Put them on the ground and immediately feel guilty and coo at them at their general adorable-ness.

See point above about spoiled brats.

You might not really see Bucky and Brutus at first. This doesn’t mean they got out but they’re big babies. They’ll probably come out after a few hours. If not feel free to throw taunts directed at them. This won’t do anything but maybe deflate their overinflated egos.

Sugar Glider –
Fed once a day. His food and water are on the sides of the cage. Feed him a tablespoon of yogurt and some cheese (not mixed together). Check his water daily as well. Make sure the blanket is covering his cage since he’s nocturnal thus might melt in sunlight. We think he’s part vampire.

Chickens –
Fed once a day, generally in the morning. Keep them in the coop for simplicity. They will complain about it but just ignore them. We do. There is a big container of food on the washer. Fill it full of the feed and go inside the coop to spread it in the dirt. Check their nesting boxes (the ones on the right that look like boxes) for eggs in the afternoon. They’ve been producing about one egg a day due to the cold. You can give them treats (in moderation) of sunflower seeds (container on top of their feed) or the bread in the ziplock bag. They will love you forever if you do this. Their water is the metal container. Check this daily! They like to put dirt in there that gets muddy. They’re jerks like that.

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clearly I know a thing or two about fat animals…

The other part? Mack has been out of town for the past two weeks and it’s been kind of lonely around the house. Yes, I’m actually leaving the house now that I have a job (be still my beating heart!) but it’s kind of depressing to come home to just cats who half the time can’t be bothered to wake up when I come home. I thought it would be nice to have a canine companion to hang out with this weekend and go on long walks and, you know, at least hide the fact as they only think of me as the provider of food.

Now Maggie is a… special dog. I don’t know how else to put it. A few months before I moved down to Phoenix our family dog Sierra (who I briefly talked about when Midnight had to be put down) had to put down too. Naturally we were all devastated by the loss of our dog and I made it my goal before I moved to find my parents another dog. Not to replace Sierra but rather to give another dog a chance of a happy, loving home.

Enter Maggie.

This dog has all sorts of weird personality quirks. I don’t know how much of them are from her background before she came into our lives but seriously you have to wonder about this dog and what goes on in her head. Take, for example, if she’s in a car she likes to bark at every. single. fucking. car. that goes by. It was cute for the first 5 minutes until you realize I live about an hour away from my parents.

Communicating with the shadow people is a favorite pastime of Maggie…

Some other weird personality quirks? She has a strange fascination with shadows and shiny objects. If your silverware accidentally catches the light when you’re eating and reflects onto the ceiling be prepared for the barking and whining and dear God really dog?! My family has kind of made it into a big joke that the Mother Ship is trying to contact her and send messages.

Mark and I try to help where we can.

Overall having Maggie over was an experience that someday, when I’m recovered and not home alone, I hope to relive. When the cats weren’t panicking (or peeing in shoe boxes since the litter-box was near THE DOG!) and Maggie wasn’t barking at shadows and/or terrorizing my neurotic cats it was a lot of fun. I hope, in time, to have Maggie come down more often (and her barking in the car to minimize) so that we can take long walks where I don’t fear her keeling over.

Oh Maggie, you tank of a dog. Don’t look now but I think the mother ship is calling.

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I thank my lucky stars they did!

I’ll write more on a day I didn’t get another job rejection and am thus depressed (I’ll write more on the job hunt as well! Lucky!). I’ll instead direct you to something positive and the product of everyone’s hard work:

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Apparently Garrett had found our push lawn mower that had been left in the shed and decided it’d be fun to mow the lawn. I wondered aloud: “Is this the only fun thing to do at our house at 9PM on a Monday?”

I mean, I definitely wasn’t complaining that the lawn was getting done but the amount of amusement that the brothers and sister got out of it? Kind of funny in a weird way. Mack and Garrett were running laps up and down the backyard trying to “beat each other’s times”… until Garrett went back into the shed and found something interesting.

“Hey Garrett, what’s up?”

Mack was intrigued. What was Garrett doing?

“I think we can do more damage with the one Garrett found!”

Of course Mack went over to play around with the potentially deadly object. As Garrett put it: Dumb and Dumber.

It was all going well until apparently they figured it out enough for Garrett to shock himself while trying to start it.

His older brother, as you can tell, was obviously very sympathetic.

You’d think this would make them stop trying to get it to work?

Of course not. That would be admitting defeat!

While Tweedledee and Tweedledum continued trying to lose a limb, their sister was finishing the job they had started on the rest of the lawn with the push mower. That is until it got stuck full of grass for the millionth time.

Emily has more of a sense of self preservation than her brothers. This was made abundantly clear as Mack and Garrett, tired of trying to get the Death Machine to work, reminisced about childhood stories messing with the nerves in each others arms.

Boys.

Technorati Tags: brothers, siblings, mowing the lawn, this is how we roll, fun times, family, sibling bonding

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A thing to note is that a few of my brothers tend to be attracted to mildly crazy chicks. I say this as their loving sister who openly teases them about this all the time. Some guys like brunettes, others like them with longs legs. My brothers? They like ‘em crazy!

After he showed me the picture the following conversation occurred.

Me: She doesn’t seem crazy enough. Throw her back.
Noah: We’ll see. She is a redhead…
Me: Ah, so she most likely is crazy.
Mom [who is a redhead]: Excuse me!

Technorati Tags: family, relationships, dating, conversations, siblings, crazy, laws of attraction, insulting

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When I went digging through some drawers I was not disappointed. Here’s a sampling of a few of the pictures I scanned.

Internet, meet my grandma as a baby:

Don’t you just want to pinch her cheeks?

She was obviously a very loved child.

Pictures like this and how they used to dress just get me. So lady-like!

Here she is probably about the time World War I was going on.

I think my brothers need to stop telling me I was found in a dumpster since obviously I am related to this woman.

I don’t know about you but it just boggles my mind to be able to look at a photograph of my grandparents from 1930. I can really see my Mom when I look at my Grandma and my uncle when looking at Grandpa.

I like to say this is their mob shot. I can assure you that they were Mormon and probably the farthest thing possible from the mob.

I do love old family photos and do hope you like them too! Since trust me: I plan on sharing more.

Technorati Tags: antique, vintage, “old family photos”, “old photographs”, photographs, history, historic, “historical photos”

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Mack was kind enough to come along and help me make my Mom meals garden since he wasn’t sure of his own mother’s travel plans for that day. He was a good sport, an awesome help, and celebrated his Mom from afar.

Of all the many activities we did that day I wanted to talk about gardening first. First let it be known that I do not have a green thumb. I have a blog post in the works about earthboxes we made a few weeks back but yeah… I don’t possess much in the way of gardening skills.

It’s not a lack of interest or wanting to garden that is the hinderance as to why I’ve never really gardened before. It’s more… I don’t like dirt. I don’t know why but I really, REALLY dislike having dirty hands. That and, growing up, my parents house was in such dense forest there wasn’t enough sunlight to allow anything to grow.

When we arrived at my parents house on Sunday though I looked out on their deck at the empty planters and declared that for our mothers day activity we’d go get gardening supplies and get a garden started in my parents backyard.

My Mom was, of course, delighted.

Once I got my hands wrist deep in dirt I found that it was actually quite enjoyable! Granted, having dirt under my nails kind of drove me crazy but knowing my hands were dirty for a noble cause? Well, that made the whole experience that much more fun.

I’m excited to find a house to rent so that Mack and I can start our own garden and watch stuff grow. Although my back was killing me and I was dirty all over I’d have to say: I like gardening.

Especially with those who you love.

Technorati Tags: gardening, mothers day, plants, nature, outdoors, garden, planting, dirt, soil

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Thought it would be a lot of fun to enter the I ♥ Faces (www.iheartfaces.com) challenge this week of Smiles! I know nothing quite cheers me up like the smile of a loved one… especially a mischievous one like my nephews.

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Just got back from a six day trip to Phoenix (to visit my brother (and his wife and son) and check in with the company I work for) last night. Lots of fun pictures and stories to share…

that is, once I catch up on sleep.

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