Dear Brutus -

Hey cat, what’s with the rage lately? I get that you’re two years old which equates to about the human equivalent teenage-years for cat age. Seriously though, do you need to go around being such a dick? What about trying being nice for a change?

I remember when you were a sweet innocent kitten and… wait… scratch that. You were always kind of a rage filled animal since you were a month old. I admit it was kind of charming when you charged at me from inside the cage. I guess that should have been my first clue as to your warped personality. But Brutus, what’s with the increase in the rage lately?

I totally get why you’re mad at me right now. How dare I go away for a weekend to see family! Why did I not consult you first and get the royal decree and pardon for the trip?! Who am I to think that my nephew’s third birthday is more important then being around for you! Because cat, you’re a cat. No amount of pleading from me would make you grant me permission to go. Besides, it’s not like we didn’t have someone stop by to take care of you (he was even allergic to cats. I know you loved that and only came out when he stopped by to be a jerk). 

It’s not like I was subtle about it either. From doing the laundry and talking about it constantly the clues were there. If that was not enough for your highness, there was the suitcase on the bed getting packed. Don’t deny not seeing it: you laid your furry ass in there.

As to the other issue, the one of me getting a job outside the apartment? It’s not like you enjoyed having me around here anyway. If I would try and hold you when working it was like a HUGE chore for you to tolerate it. I admit that I do miss being around during the day but it’s better for both of us. We need our space from each other. All good relationships do need a little space Brutus.

Other then those two thing I can think of, how have I wronged you cat? Is it because I named you Brutus? If you think about it, cat, the name is sort of bad-ass. I mean, Brutus did betray Caesar, sure, but it was for the good of Rome! You should feel nothing short of thrilled I didn’t name you something like Sugar Plum or Fluffy.

Take a step out of your emo corner and realize you have a really cushy situation in life. Mack and his Mom built you a ramp so you could hang out on the ceiling. You’re fed and given fresh water daily. I constantly pet you and dote on you. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!??!??!

Seriously Brutus, you need to work through this rage in a better way than RIPPING UP OUR APARTMENT CARPET. It was cute the first time but wait, no. No it wasn’t. Nor was it cute in the last two apartments either. You realize that the more you rip out the carpet the more we potentially have to pay to get out of this place in the future? Or potentially not get part of our deposit back? I know you don’t care since it gives Mack and I better understanding of all the rage that you feel inside. No one gets all the emotions you go through. Now go listen to your CD of The Cure.

Keep it up cat and I might not be able to hold back Mack from going through with what he wants to do: declaw you. If I would let him I’m sure he might consider doing it with his bare hands he is that fed up with the carpet destroying. I hope it makes you feel some sort of fear Brutus to know I was researching what shots you need updated so I could potentially declaw you. I hope that sparks some sort of fear in you and makes you rethink this whole angst rage thing you’ve gotten into.

Seriously, I love you dearly, but stop ripping up the carpet and my devotion towards you will not be questioned as insanity by others.

Love,
Anne

p.s. can you and Blue kind of cut out the 3AM races and/or make-out sessions? Kindly work out your sexual frustration during regular business hours please. Preferably while Mack and I are both at work.

p.s.s. Only being nice to me as I write a letter to you doesn’t count.