Tonight was particularly hard though to think of a topic while pissed off. I was suppose to meet up with a friend tonight who I haven’t seen in a few years. Without going into great detail I’ll simply state I got flaked out on again after waiting around for almost an hour.

I get it. Stuff happens. I’m a very punctual person by nature so these things will get under my skin.

So after getting home and eating dinner I brought back from the Asian market (much to Mack’s pleasure for his own take-out dinner surprise treat) I stared at the keyboard perplexed as to what to write. Should I try to force humor when I’m irritated? Explore the unknown? Or better yet…

Share random images on my desktop!

I have a habit of dragging images I find amusing onto my desktop thus I don’t know all the sources of these fine images. If you know leave a comment and I will rectify the situation!

First off…

This cat kills me dead. The expression on his face says “I will kill you while you sleep and make your skin into a nice overcoat.”

For all the nerdy animal people in your life you know (not that I’m pointing fingers Emily)!

SLAYS me. If you actually click on the cat spinning the record it’s an animated gif and your life will never be the same again.

This one was actually one of my volley’s for the layer tennis my former coworker Micah and I do whenever we get around to it. I think he still fails to see by amusement with this particularly fine image I made.

And finally:

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Remember, I like celebrity gossip so I’m all about the false nature of people.

Now, let’s start with some of the classic email titles:

“Your email address was picked for 789,000GBP”

Really!? All my wildest dreams have now come true! All you need is my banking routing number, right?

“Make it Jumbo. Try it out. paint.”

What? I admit I’m intrigued since it makes NO SENSE.

“Uld have betrayed her many, many times. It was inexplicable. Now that Tum”

Now this one looks promising! When I opened it I was not disappointed:

“Rry Cissie Dildine.” “Shu! Then whut fur dey go roun’ peepin’ at each other lak a couple o’ niggers roun’ a haystack?” The old lawyer was annoyed. “Peepingwhere?” “Why, right in front o’ dis house, dat’s wha; ever’ day when dat hussy passes up to de Arkwrights’, wha she wucks. She pokes along an’ walls her eyes roun’ at dis house lak a calf wid de splivins.” “That going on now?” “Ever’”

What about this one? The title is “Re: Important Notice!” Since it has “Re:” that means I totally emailed them first, right?

“Hope all is well with you? With due respect to your person and with much sincerity of purpose I make this contact with you as I believe that you can be of great assistance to me, I am the head of operation Falcon Private Bank; I’m writing you regarding a pressing issue in my bank, that will be of interest/benefit to you. It involved huge sum of money that was linked with you.”

The Engrish alone makes it worth the read.

“My name is Mr. Jerry Ntai,I am the Head of Operations in Mevas Bank, Hong Kong. I have a business proposal in the tune of $22,700,000.00 to be transferred to an offshore account with your assistance if willing.After the successful transfer, we shall share inratio of 30% for you and 70% for me.”

Wow! This seems totally legit! Look at all this money I could be making!

If you’re not gullible and fall easily to 4-1-9 frauds I highly suggest just reading the titles of these emails. I guarantee the ridiculousness will amuse you to no end.

Technorati Tags: scams, spam email, spammers, nigerian scams, amusement

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I discovered this gem (with a whole series of “cooking with dog” when I was trying to explain to Mack what omurice was. He, of course, promptly made his sister watch it.

Old Spice has some marketing geniuses on their team. This has had me cracking up for a week.

Beatles, 3000. So amazing.

I admit when my coworker sent this to me and I watched it for the first time I gasp and was horrified.

For those of you who hate Twilight.

So inspiring and makes me want to travel. Mack thinks it’s just because I love the majestic beard he grows. (that definitely helps). The (second aka main) song he used is now my ringtone.

And finally, because I’m twisted:

My childhood was ruined. Now yours is, too.

Technorati Tags: youtube, linking, videos, random, sharing, no purpose

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Poor innocent Noah.

(I’m too lazy to find a non-techno overlayed music version and thought this represented it so beautifully).

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No, I’m a giant freak of nature who gags with the most RANDOM stuff you can imagine. Here is a list of my top 10 random things that make me gag that will seriously make you wonder what is wrong with me.

1. Cotton Balls
2. The smell of metallic objects
3. Being hungry
4. The texture of wood (especially our wooden cutting boards)
5. Catching my nail in something or something getting under my nail
6. Cleaning my ears (even without cotton balls this happens)
7. Olives and mushrooms
8. Cinnamon rolls
9. Apple juice or apple sauce
10. Bleach

I’m sure some of these are psychological but it doesn’t detract from the fact that it really sucks to want to gag when I pick up the cutting board. I know the cinnamon rolls stems from my childhood, smelling them baking with the smell of bleach as my parents cleaned the kitchen (which, as you see, accounts for bleach as number 10 on the list). I’m am pretty sure if you looked at me funny I’d gag and then proceed to bruise (since I bruise really easily too).

This gag reflex is, unfortunately, a family trait though most of my family members have outgrown it. I will never forget when I was a nanny and fed my nephew a texture that did not agree with his high tastes causing him to projectile vomit Exorcist style.

Which, in turn, made me gag.

Internet: is there any weird things that make you gag? Or am I alone in this one…

Technorati Tags: gag reflex, psychological issues, food textures, textures, gagging, projectile vomiting, genetics, organic textures

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What are your middle names?
I have two middle names: Elizabeth and Dee. Mack’s middle name is McBride. Dee is a tradition on my Mom’s side, Elizabeth just being pretty and my Mom wanted that. McBride is from Mack’s mothers side of the family.

How long have you been together?
Almost two years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A few weeks. We met online and were talking for a few weeks before we met in person. About a week later we decided to date. WE WERE THAT MUCH IN LOVE…. or at least that interested in each other.

Who asked whom out?
I honestly have no clue. I think it was kind of a mutual decision like “So, want to be exclusive?” “Sure, why not.” Because we’re romantic like that.

How old are each of you?
We’re both 23, although I’m three months (and twelve days) older. I love to give Mack endless grief about that until he points out that yes, I am older than him, not younger.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
I’d say probably mine just because I have so many of them. The odds of seeing 5 siblings versus 2… you do the math. When we lived in Phoenix one of my brothers lived there with his family about 20-minutes away. His siblings are up in Oregon (at the moment) while mine are scattered around the United States.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
My constant worrying and stressing about stuff. I’m a HUGE worrier which in turn will manifest itself in our relationship since I’ll keep bouncing ideas off him and won’t “listen” when he makes suggestions. This drives Mack up the wall, especially when I get nagging. I am working on this, I swear. Plus we like to switch the realistic versus dreamer roles every-so-often (though we can never be it at the same time, annoyingly enough). 

Did you go to the same school?
No. I went to the Art Institute (Seattle for my associates, Phoenix for my Bachelors) and he went to University of Advancing Technology. His school, on the whole, sounds a little more bad ass.

Are you from the same home town?
No. I grew up in the suburbs of Seattle while Mack comes from a medium sized down in western-middle Oregon. We both do hale from the liberal-democratic northwest.

Who is smarter?
Mack, without a doubt. He’d argue that he is just smarter in a different way than me but honestly he retains all this information about anything you really want to know (as long as it interests him, Mack would argue). He knows all sorts of information on taxes, companies, hacking, you name it. Me? My interests are in history, art, and celebrity pop-culture. On the whole his is more relevant to everyday life. 

Who is the most sensitive?
Me. I’m so neurotic it’s a given.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We haven’t really found a place that we “love” to eat out in this town yet. I think it really depends on the mood.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Thus far only cross-country. Last year in a five-month period we drove Phoenix to Jacksonville three times. It really sucked.

Who has the craziest exes?
This one would have to go to Mack since he has three exes compared to my one. Than again, my one ex probably equates to the craziness of his three combined.

Who has the worst temper?
Both of us. I don’t think I can define who really has the worst temper since we both have pretty bad ones. When mad we both get REALLY silent and withdrawn and the other will know something is wrong, try to drag the information out, and ultimately fail until the mad party decides to talk. I have been told though that I am the best at hiding and keeping my anger for longer periods of time.

Who does the cooking?
Mack. He doesn’t like my solution of dinner being cereal.

Who is the neat-freak?
I’m over-all a general neat-freak but Mack can be a neat-freak about certain small details.

Who is more stubborn?
Both of us, ugh.

Who hogs the bed?
You will not get a straight answer out of this one. He claims I am a bed hog, I insist that he is. Typically our night consists of a tug-o’-war over the bedspread while we stake our claim for the exact center of the bed. In order to prevent any disagreement (see tempter and stubborn above) I’ll say we’re both bed hogs.

Who wakes up earlier?
Weekdays we wake up at the same time but on the weekends I’d say probably Mack since I can sleep for fifteen-hours at a time.

Where was your first date?
A birthday party of one of Mack’s friends. They had a piñata, which they beat with a foot of meat then set it on fire. Good times. 

Who is more jealous?
Me. I can be downright aggressive in my jealousy. Again, working on it.

How long did it take to get serious?
I think we were always serious about the relationship, even from the start. We did our best to give it a fair try (and it’s working so far) because we both went into it looking for something meaningful and long-term.

Who eats more?
Me. I graze throughout the day to keep my blood sugar up. 

Who does the laundry?
I do.

Who’s better with the computer?
Mack plays tech support for both his family and (occasionally) mine. While I am fairly “technical” I’m by no means as super-geek (written lovingly) as Mack.

Who drives when you are together?
Mack. I have major road rage and a fairly aggressive driver who gets stressed out when someone cuts me off. The fact I have had a speeding ticket while Mack has a clean record should say something.

Technorati Tags: meme, questionnaire, dooce, relationships, boyfriend, girlfriend

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Swept behind

An image of Fabio

In old rocker t-shirts

We could share a connection

since you can teach me how to groom my hair

Technorati Tags: amusement, missed connections, people, searching

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1. I’m the only girl in a family of six siblings.
2. I adore orange cats. I have had four in my life.
3. I’m a major klutz. I tend to wipe out randomly.
4. Like my siblings my hair is already turning grey.
5. Instead of having a normal stressful habit I pick the skin around my nails instead of chewing the nails.
6. I have a semi-obsessive personality. When I like something (like a book) I have to know ALL about it.
7. Despite my outward appearance and my laziness, I do like fashion.
8. I’m a worrier. I stress out about EVERYTHING which lends to point 5 and 6.
9. I lived in Japan when I was sixteen.
10. This helped me get over being a picky eater. I used to freak out if there was cheese on my burger.
11. My feet are size 10. This makes me hate shopping for shoes.
12. Despite my mockery and general amusement of it, I do like romance novels. They’re such stupid reads.
13. Although I hated it growing up, I have a special spot in my heart and adoration of classical music.
14. I’m impulsive. Sometimes I’ll get an idea in my head and act on it only to regret it later (aka hacking off my hair).
15. I over-share. 
16. I want to visit as many countries as I can in a life-time.
17. Heroic and touching stories make me cry. This proves I am a female.
18. Psychology interests me. I read stories about the “most evil” and try to understand them from a psychological stand-point as to how/why they committed their crimes.
19. I’m obsessed with celebrity culture. Their mundane/fake lives amuse me.
20. Too much vitamin C gives me canker sores in my mouth. This annoys me since I love oranges.
21. Sometimes I worry I have more empathy towards animals then humans.
22. Part of my love for watching movies is watching the trailers. I also love commercials.
23. Too much sunshine depresses me. I’m too used to the grey of the northwest!
24. I’m growing my hair out to donate to locks of love. I’ve done this once before.
25. I want to learn how to swim and get over that phobia so I can swim with the fishes.

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Guess am prepared for Seattle since am already frozen.

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• For the Cold
• 1 Sore Throat (slightly achy)
• 2 Watery Eyes (for best results have blood-shot eyes)
• 1 Runny Nose
• Unset Stomach
• 1 part Irritability (especially in regards towards others)
• Unlimited Headaches
• Voice that Sounds like the Exorcist

 
For Treating the Cold

• 2 Airborne (add more as needed)
• 8 Sudafed (take as needed)
• 10 Ricola (more as needed, judge by taste)
• 1 Benadryl 

Procedure:

1. First, let your throat start to feel the start of getting cold. Ignore the boyfriends suggestion of taking an Airborne and promise to do it in the morning.
2. Wake up with a full-on sore throat with a general feeling of crap. Take that Airborne your boyfriend tried to get you to take.
3. Let body work itself up to a 100F temperature while allowing it to get chilled.
4. Allow first headache to set in.
5. Make a last ditch attempt to Walgreens to try and fight it off before it comes on more.
6. Add one part sore throat, a pinch more headache, and 1 Runny Nose. Stir together until well beat. Have boss take one look at you, declare you look like shit, and tell you to go home.
7. Get home and proceed to get in PJ’s with all the bedroom fans on you. Proceed to get the chills.
8. Pop a few more Sudafed. Feel like you can breathe again. Take 3 more Ricola which allows throat to feel better.
9. Answer a few phone calls. Get told you sound like crap. Feel like crap.
10. Take a Benadryl to help sleep at night.
11. Wake up with a worse sore throat. Proceed through day with repeat of steps above from sick-bed.

 
Serve warm. Seemingly infects all that come in contact with.

Technorati Tags: Ingredients, sickness, medication, recipes, fever, sore throat, sick

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